My Secret Place
201200235 Kwon Hye-Ji
When I think of my childhood, a place always comes to my mind. From the moment my old best friend and I found this hidden place by accident, we made a lot of good memories and shared everything there. So, the place remind me of my old best friend.
It might be destiny for us to discover the place. My friend and I always did everything together like twins. When we were second grade students, we took a same after-school activity program that we learned playing violin. After the violin class finished, we walked out from a building and found a path by the building. I do not know I can call it a path but beside the building, there was a little space leading to a corner. Out of curiosity, we walked along the path and we reached to an empty lot surrounded by trees. It was small but cozy. The ground was soft and comfortable with grass. Because it was located on a hill, we could look down the town.
My friend and I had already shared many stories but then we had one more secret about the place. The place made us closer. Because it was the hidden place, nobody could find us and interrupt our time. After the school finished, we often went to there and had a great time. Sometimes we did homework, sang songs, or had chat while eating chips together in the place.
However, I also enjoyed having my own time there. I often went to there by myself. I could be relaxed by looking down at the town. At that time, I sometimes felt sick of doing homework and going to an academy for extra study. When I felt like escaping from the repeated daily life, I went to there. Because I ensured that nobody would come, so I did not need to care about the outside world. It was completely isolated so there was very calm, quiet and peaceful. It was a good place to organize thoughts or read books in the sun.
Unfortunately, the place was disappeared due to construction but it still remained in my mind. I will never forget the comfort and good memories that the place provided me. I still hope to have a place like that time.
1. I liked the part in which describing when you were going that place; felt sick of doing homework, going to an academy, and escaping from the repeated daily life. Reading that part, I could easily find how you felt in that place.
ReplyDelete2. In the second paragraph, you well described how you can get there and how it looks like, and where it is. In my opinion, however, if you describe how the size was, not only mentioning it was small, it will be more clear.
3. Well, I couldn't find any different senses, except sight.
4. Based on your paragraphs, I thought the place was very quiet and cozy. Because it was hidden place, and you always went there when you were so exhausted of repetitive days. You felt being refresh there, didn't you?
5. Even though the place was disappeared or because it was disappeared, you might miss the old days with a best friend. As the place was disappeared, we cannot go back to the old days.
6. As the text book suggested, how about describing (show, don't tell) the place with the other senses like sound and smell. As you said it was cozy and hidden place in the paragraph, the place might be very quiet indeed. So you can put more details like when we were there, we felt like we were in the another world, because we couldn't hear any sound.
Yoonhae Kang(201300058)
ReplyDelete1. What did you like best about this essay?
I like your description about the place.At that time, I sometimes felt sick of doing homework and going to an academy for extra study. When I felt like escaping from the repeated daily life, I went to there. It teels the reason of why you like the place.
2. Did the writer describe the place clearly?
Out of curiosity, we walked along the path and we reached to an empty lot surrounded by trees. It was small but cozy. The ground was soft and comfortable with grass. Because it was located on a hill, we could look down the town.
I think this part shows the description of the place.
3.Did the writer appeal to the different senses? List to sensory details.
I think I cannot find any appeals to different senses.
4. How would you describe the mood or the atmosphere?
Out of curiosity, we walked along the path and we reached to an empty lot surrounded by trees. It was small but cozy. The ground was soft and comfortable with grass.
It seems to be a small and quite place, where you feel refreshed while your are staying at the place.
5. Why do you think the writer chose this place?
I think the place is related your childhood memory between you and your friend.
6. How could the writer improve this essay?
It will be much better if you add some more details. Escpecially focusing on showing images.