Hugendubel
201100316 Kim Nam Hye
I personally really like to spend time in café. I like the comfortable moods and delicious drinks there. I can focus my work easily, and take a rest there. When I was in Germany as a exchange student, there was one cafe, which I visited often, and spent time a lot. The name of this café is Hugendubel. I can still remember the café very specifically, and clearly.
Actually, I first had to enter lots of colorful books loaded on each shelf, as it was located on the 2nd floor of a big bookstore. When you enter the bright red stairs(which is shining every time)you will easily get to the café. The stair was quite low and robust, so you don't feel trouble climbing up there at all. Even kids go up stairs with no hesitation. Old people don't need to be stressful of it. Whenever I climb upstairs to reach the café, I don't feel any pain in my leg as usual. It feels like that I was still walking the flat floor.
The moment you arrive there, what you see first is mouth-watering desserts. Each of them shows off their vivid colors: ivory, orange, flamed-red, black, brown. What I see on the stand are cakes of thick layers-cheese,chocolate,carrot,poppy,raspberry, hand-made cookies of many flavors, croissants, other breads. When you look up, you will find a few menu there. Those are written in German, supposedly by someone's hand neatly. Blond, blue-eyed(not too bright, but a little bit dark like bronze) clerk asks me in German with showing her bright white teeth and smiling " Was bestellen Sie?" which means "What do you want to order?". At least, this word comes to my ear clearly, as if she whispered this sentence to my ear. I ordered with confident. From the pick-up desk, I cautiously take my cup of coffee, it is quite heavy to carry in one hand.
When I look around, different kinds of people are around me: Old men and women with deep carved wrinkles, young students looked in their early twenties on the brink of burying their face on the thick book. There are also small kids with an attractive peach on their cheeks. They fixed their eye on me, as if beam sparks from their eyes. My ears catch familiar but not comfortable sound: German. Sometimes it feels like alien words. It passes so fast outside of my ear, like a flash shot of camera. I stare around available seats with awkward carefulness, as if this is an important mission for me. "No, this space is too near to the old man. No, I don't like to sit next to the clerks, it will be annoying to listen their shrilling voice for every 3minute. There's no choice. Maybe I have to blink my eyes every second there because of the light." I sit on the hardwood chair. It's solid and robust. The mixture of coffee and new books' scent comes delicately to my nose. I like the combination of those two. I can feel it only in this space. It's the scent that reminds me of Hugendubel. I lay some paper parcel compactly full of German on the shining surface of table, I feel dizzy suddenly. I don't touch them no more. Instead, I fell in to my own world: daydreaming. In order to enjoy my daydreaming more nicely, I sip a cup of coffee slowly. I feel something bitter but at the same time sweet, additionally soft. Many people pass by me while I'm daydreaming seriously.
In fact, this routine repeated for a year while I was there. I feel myself at home there. I'm still used to the old men and women, students like me, friendly clerks. I miss them.
염준호 201303872
ReplyDelete1. I liked the specific details of the cafe like bright red shiny stairs and mouth watering deserts.
2. Yes, you described the place very clearly.
3. The vivid visual colors of desserts like ivory, orange, flamed-red, black, brown, and the scent of paper parcel.
4. The atmosphere of the cafe is simple, yet quite large and a comfortable place.
5. I think you chose to write about this place because it is a special place for you, and it means a lot to you because you miss the cafe that you went often.
6. I think maybe you can include what you did at the cafe.
'Each of them shows off their vivid colors: ivory, orange, flamed-red, black, brown. What I see on the stand are cakes of thick layers-cheese,chocolate,carrot,poppy,raspberry, hand-made cookies of many flavors, croissants, other breads.' What a cool sentence. You also made my mouth fool of saliva. This sentence is marvelous. I will use this type of sentence at the later my second draft. I know the place clearly. at the second paragrpah the writer wrote about the appearance very clearly. Where I was hard to understand clearly was the point of 'It's the scent that reminds me of Hugendubel' how about adding a liitle bit like Hugendubel's what. That could be much more better. You used the color to show the sense of taste like, 'vivid colors: ivory, orange, flamed-red, black, brown' and the smell to show 'The mixture of coffee and new books' scent comes delicately to my nose.' very great choice you used. It seems like that the mood of the atmosphere of this cafe is like a place in the drama. It really feels like some elegant place with full of composure. The writer chose this place because at the end, as she mentioned, she said it was like a home to her. So in that feeling, She could feel like home there. That is why she wrote Hugendubel as a important place. Your writing is really good and it is so easy to think the place as I followed the track of the writing. But I think it would be much better if you wrote more about the conclusion. You can write for example, back in Seoul and miss the place in other cafe or sort like this. This could give the readers lingering imagery and that could be effective, in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteTo Nam Hye Kim, From Haesook Yoon
ReplyDelete1. I liked the overall cozy and warm atmoshphere of the cafe. Because of many specific details such as the smell of the cafe, people in there and especially the desserts, I felt as if I was standing there.
2. The description was very well done. I can see the place clearly.
3. I really cannot recognize German but I could hear some German from the writing and also I could see a lot of delicious dessert which I desperately want to eat now after reading your writing :)
4. Although it is a cafe and very comfortable, to me it was somewhat crowded and lively because of all kinds of people in the place.
5. I think this writing came out from the writer's reminiscenes. She loved the place but right now she cannot go and the place has so many memories in there.
6. I recognized that the writer wrote in present tense and I guess that certainly invited me to join in her writing by imagination. However, some tense were changed in some places such as 'The stair was quite low...' and 'I ordered with confident'. So I suggest reviewing your writing again mainly focusing on tenses.