| My room is not that big. It's just right for a big and lazy girl with a small cat. When I come in to my room there is a big window to my left side and in the opposite side there are hangers full of clothes, bags and other accessories. Left to the hangers, a place for my cat to eat and drink is there. I put some books under the plates to make it easier for my cat to eat. It was lower when she was young. I like to watch her eating and hear the sounds she makes as she chews her food. Crack, crack, crack and gulp. The hangers cover almost two walls and to the right of the hangers there is my guitar. My brother gave me this guitar when I came to Seoul and he got a new one. However, because the guitar was used before, it was much easier to play it. On my dresser which is next to my guitar, there are some lotions and brushes. The mirror standing on the dresser slips, dragging everything on the dresser drastically down to the floor. It is always annoying when I have to tide up all my cosmetic products again making sure the mirror is standing safely. Near the big window, there is my desk. I do not really use my desk for study. It is always crazily messy on my desk. Books, candles I collected, small hair accessories, and many other small stationaries are scattered on the desk but they are organized in some way. Although it's not that neat and tidy, I find my room very comfortable. It is a nice place to spend time because it has everything I need. I can sing with my guitar, I can read and sleep. My cat always stays near me whatever I do and wherever I am in my room, except when I am playing the guitar. The greatest thing about my room is that it smells like an old sweater which calms me down. Sometimes I stand by the hangers, close my eye and inhale deeply to smell the sweaters. When my cat sits on my clothes her stomach smells like the old sweaters so I bother her by smelling her stomach. The warmth of cats are so gentle, it feels like my mom is hugging me. If I were to explain my room with a color, I would say chocolate brown because my room was always sweet and warm to me so that I could rest and relax completely.
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Friday, October 31, 2014
Haesook Yoon/ Meaningful place/ Tuesday 9 a.m.
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Writer’s name: Haesook Yoon
ReplyDeleteReader’s name: Jihoon Yoo
1. The thing I liked about your writing is the fact that you gave a thorough explanation of your room. For example, you described about where your hangers, guitar, mirror and desk are at, which enabled the readers to clearly vision your room without having to look at it in real life. As an effect, it was much easier to comprehend and understand what you thought about your room, or the senses that you thought would represent your room.
2. The actual room was clearly and specifically explained, but I think it would have been much better if you had explained the exterior of the house, or places and things that are neighboring your house, which would have been interesting and easier to visualize your room.
3. It was nice that you approached to appeal to the different senses. I particularly liked the senses of sight and smell, and for sight, it was obvious that you tried to be specific about the features in your room like hangers, your cat, or your guitar, which made it easier and clear for the readers to visualize. And for smell, you specified that your room smells like an old sweater. As you used something that is very common for people, it felt as if I was actually in your room, as I know the smell of an old sweater as well. Therefore I think the fact that you used sight and smell senses were great strengths of your writing.
4. As I read your writing, I think the mood or the atmosphere of your room seems very calm and quite. And I believe I was able to sense that atmosphere because of your sense of sight, which you described your room with a color of chocolate brown. As soon as I caught that sentence, I visualized a room with warmth and calmness that surrounded it. Also, the smell of an old sweater also enabled me to get the atmosphere of calmness.
5. I believe you chose to talk about your room because it is a place you spend most of your time at, and a place you feel most comfortable at. And because of that sweetness, you must have gotten most, if not all, of your memories in that small room. Therefore I believe that is the reason why you chose to talk about your room.
6. To make a suggestion to improve your writing, are there anything interesting or peculiar about your room or something that you feel is unusual? If you include some details of the things I mentioned, it will be more interesting to the readers.
From. Hyejin Kim
ReplyDelete1. I was very impressed that your room smelled like an old sweater. I think it's unique and persuasive description that showed your room was cozy and comfortable place for you.
2. I thought you revealed clearly the characteristics of the room using five senses vividly.
3. I especially liked the part you used smell(old sweater) and color (chocolate brown)
4. The mood and atmosphere that I felt from the place was cozy, compact but practical, warm and comfortable.
5. I thought you chose the place because you spend most of your time in your room and the smell, the cat and everything made you peaceful were there. Am I right?
6. To make a suggestion to improve your writing, you could add a special story or event that occured in the room. I thought it could make your writing more attractive to the readers.
To: Haesook Yoon
ReplyDeleteFrom: Hajin Ahn
1. What I liked about your writing is that you gave a specific and detailed description on your room. When reading about your description on the window, hangers, books, guitar, and so on, I could vividly visualize how your room looks like.
2. The part you explained about your room was very clear but it would have been better if you had written more about the location of your room or how it was different from other rooms of your house.
3.
1)When I come in to my room there is a big window to my left side and in the opposite side there are hangers full of clothes, bags and other accessories. Left to the hangers, a place for my cat to eat and drink is there. I put some books under the plates to make it easier for my cat to eat.
This is an appeal to sight. While reading it, I could instantly imagine and understand how your room is organized.
2). I like to watch her eating and hear the sounds she makes as she chews her food. Crack, crack, crack and gulp
This was an appeal to sound. The use of imitative words like crack was vivid enough to make me understand what sound your cat makes when eating something.
4. I could feel that your room is cozy and very comfortable while reading the part that you described your room as chocolate brown and it smells like an old sweater. That is because when thinking about chocolate brown and a sweater, I tend to feel warm and peaceful.
5. I think you chose your room for this essay as it is a place where you feel comfortable the most. Also, as you are very familiar to your room, more than anyone, you must have had no problem describing it.
6. I liked that you have included sight, sound, and smell into your writing. If I have to make one suggestion, I would like to say that it would be much better if you explain how you feel when touching something in your room. It can be your cat, your bed, or your guitar.
My room
ReplyDeleteI believe that most people will consider their room as a meaningful place because it is full of meaningful things. All personal valuables are usually kept in their rooms and they cherish it forever in their life. Although there are times that we have to throw them out, but still our rooms stay as a meaningful place.
My room is not that big. It’s just right for a big and lazy girl with a small cat. When I come in to my room there is a big window to my right side and in the opposite side there are hangers full of clothes, bags and other accessories. It seems like there is a big black hole on the wall because I like black items. I think they make me look slimmer. Once I went shopping with my dad and I picked up a black jumper then he firmly said, “No more blacks in your closet.” So I bought a bright red one and that is the only bright colored jumper I have. Not many girls go shopping with their dad, but we often did because we both enjoyed short shopping together. After the shopping we used to go to a great restaurant to enjoy special meals to celebrate our shopping.
Left to the hangers, a place for my cat to eat and drink is there. I put some books under the plates to make it easier for her to eat. It was lower when she was young. I like to watch her eating and hear the sounds she makes as she chews her food. Crack, crack, crack and gulp. I am living with her since the second semester started. When I first met her, she was literally a handful of cat. As she grew up and got used to my room, she made her favorite place in my room so I knew where to find her. Knowing someone’s favorite place is such a great thing because it is sharing memories together. I love the moment when I wake up and see my cat sleeping next to me. She is warm and feels soft so I cannot wait till she wakes up and pet her softly.
The hangers cover almost two walls and to the right of the hangers, there is my guitar. My brother gave this guitar to me when I came to Seoul and he got a new one. However, because the guitar was used before, it was much easier to play it. I practiced some songs and can sing two songs perfectly. I did so to present a video of me singing to my boyfriend on his birthday.
On my dresser which is next to my guitar, there are some lotions and brushes. The mirror standing on the dresser often slips, dragging everything on the dresser drastically down to the floor. It is always annoying when I have to tide up all my cosmetic products again making sure the mirror is standing safely. Near the big window, there is my desk. I do not really use my desk for study. It is always crazily messy on my desk. Books, candles I collected, small hair accessories, and many other small stationaries are scattered on the desk but they are organized in some way. I think my cat loves playing on my desk because there are things that she can push and drop.
Although it’s not that neat and tidy, I find my room very comfortable. It is a nice place to spend time because it has everything I need. I can sing with my guitar, I can read and sleep. My cat always stays near me whatever I do and wherever I am in my room, except when I am playing the guitar. She scares the guitar sound. The greatest thing about my room is that it smells like an old sweater which calms me down. Sometimes I stand by the hangers, close my eye and inhale deeply to smell the sweaters. When my cat sits on my clothes her stomach smells like the old sweaters so I bother her by smelling her stomach. The warmth of cats are so gentle, it feels like my mom is hugging me. If I were to explain my room with a color, I would say chocolate brown because my room was always sweet and warm to me so that I could rest and relax completely.
Ordinary Special
ReplyDelete201302209 Haesook Yoon
I believe that most people will consider their room as their most meaningful place because it is full of meaningful things such as their pet, things for hobbies and photos of their loved ones. All personal valuables are usually kept in their rooms and people cherish it forever in their life.
My room is not that big. It’s just right for a big and lazy girl with a small cat. The cat I am living with is only a 6 months old and she is from the streets. When I come into my room, my cat comes out to greet me, sometimes meowing as if she is saying hello. There is a big window to my right side and that is where my cat sees the world. I sometime feel sorry for her because that is the only world she can see and the view is not that great. Sometimes I thank the birds that come nearby the window because they can show my cat that there are other creatures in the world. The window frame was one of her favorite place but it became an igloo to her. In the opposite side of the window, there are hangers full of clothes, bags and other accessories. It seems like there is a big black hole on the wall because I like black items. The hanger is also my cat’s place to play. She climbs up my bag to get to the mountaintop of my clothes. Left to the hangers, a place for my cat to eat and drink is there. I put some books under the plates to make it easier for her to eat. It was lower when she was young. I like to watch her eating and hear the sounds she makes as she chews her food. Crack, crack, crack and gulp. Almost 5 months had passed and I can find where she is, even with my eyes closed. Knowing someone’s favorite place is such a great thing because it is sharing memories together. I love the moment when I wake up and see my cat sleeping next to me. She is warm and feels soft so I cannot wait till she wakes up and pet her softly.
The hangers cover almost two of the walls and to the right of the hangers, there is my guitar. My brother gave that to me when I came to Seoul and he got a new one. Although the guitar was used before, I was happy about it because it was much easier for me to play it. I practiced some songs and can sing two songs perfectly. I did so to present a video of me singing to my boyfriend on his birthday. I started playing the guitar to satisfy others just like my boyfriend but now I play it just for me. It is a great way to separate me from other messy thoughts. So when I tune it feels like I am opening the door of my own mind palace. Just like other hobbies, playing guitar makes me to concentrate on only one thing, the chords. When I play well, my room suddenly shines and I feel really happy. However, if it was not my room I would not be able to just play the guitar. I would not feel comfortable and confident. So my room is a magic place for me to be a true me.
Next to the guitar, there is my chair and desk and under the desk, there is my box of memory. I believe most girls have this kind of box where they keep everything that is meaningful to them such as little toys, letters and photos. In my box of memory, I keep my favorite perfumed candle which smells like an old sweater. Because of the candle everything in my box smells good. Usually, there are letters so when I open the letter the odor comes out and leads me to the memory of that time when the letter was written or given. There are happy birthday cards, Christmas cards and other small notes that my friend and I exchanged during classes. Love letters are also kept in the box but the real ones are always in my bag deep inside because I do not trust my mom on the fact that she will never open my box. Also, there are lots of photos. I used to put pictures in my purse. However, as I loved to take photos with my families, friends and boyfriend, the purse was about to explode. So I put every photo that was in my purse into the box and I am filling my purse again with different photos. For this precious and secret box, there is no better place than my own room.
ReplyDeleteAlthough it is not that neat and tidy, I find my room very comfortable. It is a nice place to spend time because it has everything I need. I can sleep with my cat, sing with my guitar and I can reminisce moments when I was in love. My cat always stays near me whatever I do and wherever I am in my room. Just like my secret box, my room smells like an old sweater which calms me down. Sometimes I stand by the hangers, close my eye and inhale deeply to smell the sweaters. When my cat sits on my clothes her stomach smells like the old sweater so I bother her by smelling her stomach. The warmth of cats are so gentle, it feels like my mom is hugging me. If I were to explain my room with a color, I would say chocolate brown because my room was always sweet and warm to me so that I could rest and relax in peace.