| First draft Saying goodbye to my students Jihoon Yoo 201301135 (EIT)
"Well, today's the last day" I said to my students. I was teaching in an academy for college examination for English users, and the next day was the day for HUFS entrance exam. My job was to give a topic in which the students will write about, and after an hour and a half, I would collect the papers and give feedback on it. It was a massive burden to me as technically I was the one that refines their papers and develops them which will eventually decide whether they get accepted to the university or not. So a bit of joy that this continuous burden for about six months will be gone in just one more day, and a bit of sadness that I will not get to see them again in academy, gave me a mixed feeling.
When all the students came into the classroom, as usual I gave out question sheets and answer sheets for them to fill out. On their faces, I could see that they were nervous and scared about this question being the last one for them to practice, and also that tomorrow will be the day they've all been waiting for. "Tomorrow, don't forget to take your ID card, a watch, and a pen to write on," I said to my students, as they were rather careless and clumsy. In return, they gave me a nod, which I seemed to have scared them by saying the word 'tomorrow.' I gave them an hour and a half to write their essays, and I left the room. As I waited for them to finish their essays, I deeply contemplated on how my HUFS examination was two years ago, how frightening it was to sit in a cold desk and a chair and write an essay for more than one hour, in a classroom full with other students from different places that were competing with me for only 10 available spots.
One by one, students came to me to get feedback on his/her essay. Normally, I would scold them if they didn't finish the essay and give harsh comments if they made a same mistake I've been telling them over and over again, but this time it was different. They were already nervous, and I was sure that what they needed at this point was not a suggestion or a harsh comment, but a word of hope and encouragement that they will do just fine. Therefore I each gave them what they usually forget to do, some advice that they should do on the day of exam, and a word of thanks for doing their best. Until then, it didn't feel much like farewell, as writing essays and getting feedback were just as usual. However, the time came when we had to go home. As I was packing my bag to leave, a bunch of students came to me and said things like "thank you for teaching us until now", "I'll try my best using what you have taught us," and "you were the best teacher." I have thought of myself as not much of a teacher, as I was only a few years older than them. However, hearing them contribute what they have learned to me was a big surprise. We exchanged a few hugs and a promise that we will see again after they finish their exams, and they went home. It was the end of my first ever teacher life with a lot of warm-hearted students.
From this experience, I learned what responsibility is. Until now, I have done several part-time jobs, whether it was in an academy or a café. However, those jobs did not require a lot of responsibility, as my job did not affect much in terms of sales or amount of students. However, this time it was different. Not only was I in charge of making the topics and the supporting ideas, but I was also the one giving them critiques that they will do better in the real exam. If I did poorly, they would have learned from that and write a horrible essay with nothing much to look at. Therefore it was crucial that I do well at everything, and therefore, I learned what being responsible to one's future is. It made me do my best without looking for a way out or being sluggish. I will always remember the experience, which gave me an important lesson. |
Friday, September 26, 2014
Jihoon Yoo/Essay assignment First draft/Tuesday 9am
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I really enjoyed your essay. It was not only interesting to read but also very touching. As I also teach students English and Chinese, I know the feeling of saying good bye to students. I hope all your students to get good results. Please let me know if you hear any good news. Even though this is just your first draft, I think it is already well -written for all the dynamic verbs and adjectives you used. In addition, I think you made your point very clear, especially about what you learned from the experience.
ReplyDeleteHajin Ahn 201301918
To: Jihoon Yoo
ReplyDeleteFrom: Hajin Ahn
Assignment #2
What I like about this piece of writing is that the story is very specific and detailed as this is your recent experience. I like that you used dynamic verbs and adjectives that made the entire essay very interesting to read. As I also taught students English and Chinese just like you did, I know exactly how you felt while giving lectures to your students, especially at the moment of saying goodbye to them. Your main point seems to be that you learned how much important it is to be responsible for other’s futures. And from that, you also learned to do your best without being sluggish. Particular words or lines struck me as powerful are first, "So a bit of joy that this continuous burden for about six months will be gone in just one more day, and a bit of sadness that I will not get to see them again in academy, gave me a mixed feeling“. I like them because it reminded me of what I felt when I had to leave my students in China for coming back home. Words such as joy, burden, and sadness vividly showed that you had a mixed feeling that cannot be shortened into one word. Secondly, I was really expressed by the following part “It made me do my best without looking for a way out or being sluggish”. I had also done several part-time jobs but I tended to only focus on when my work would be finished. I’ve never thought how my work would contribute to a person’s or a company’s future. I realized that being responsible for something with sincere heart is very difficult but when you put true efforts into it, a sense of achievement would compensate all your efforts. So, just as you said, I'd also like to remember this lesson and think about it in the future, Some things aren’t clear to me. I think your essay is very well –written so I hardly find any points to be improved. So let me just tell you in general. In order to make your story more interesting, I would like you to put something more about your students. It can be descriptions of each student’s personality or some of their improvements. I think it would help readers imagine the scene much better. The one change you could make that would make the biggest improvement in this piece of writing is to put more dialogues. Even though you did put some dialogues in your essay, I think you can add some more as your experience is largely based on the relationship between you and your students. As I’ve mentioned above, I think it would be a good idea to put dialogues that may show your students’ characteristics. Other than that, I really like you essay.
To Jihoon Yoo From Jiyeon Yang Assignment #2 Oral peer response
ReplyDeletea.When you contemplated on your own examination while your students were writing the essay, I could feel that this experience was very real.
b.I think that there’s a sudden change from discussing your experience to drawing a conclusion. Therefore by adding a paragraph or few sentences which you talk about what you gained or felt, it will become clearer.
c.The introduction in my opinion was a bit plain as there was only one dialogue and talking right away about your experience. Therefore, writing something general at the beginning will draw the audience more effectively.
d.The overall verb tense is past tense, but it changes to present tense at the end of the conclusion. I think the change of tenses was very clear and smooth. However I think it would be much better if you included more of the present tense by discussing about how you will do in the future, with the ability you gained in this experience.
e.When you revise, I hope you will discuss more about some characteristics of your students to make it more interesting! Other than that it was a good essay.
Final draft
ReplyDeleteGoodbye My Students
Jihoon Yoo
201301135 (EIT)
“Well, today’s the last day”
I said to myself. I was teaching essay writing in an academy for college examination for English users, and the very next day was the day for HUFS entrance exam. My job at the academy was to give a topic in which the students will write about, and after an hour and a half, I would collect the papers and give feedbacks on them. It was a massive burden to me as technically I was the one that refines their papers and develops them, which will eventually decide whether they get accepted to the university or not. So a bit of joy that this continuous burden for about six months will be gone in just one more day, and a bit of sadness that I will not get to see them again in the academy, gave me a mixed feeling. With a deep breath, I went inside the classroom.
It was ten minutes before class began, and no one was seated. Inside the classroom were only I and a loud clock going tick-tock-tick-tock. Even though it was the usual scene and the usual sound, somehow I was very nervous and my hands began to sweat. When all students came into the classroom, as usual I gave out question sheets and answer sheets for them to fill out. On their faces, I could see that they were nervous and scared about this essay being the last one for them to practice. “Tomorrow, don’t forget to take your ID card, a watch, and a pen to write with,” I said to my students, as they were rather careless and clumsy. In return, they gave me serious nods, which I seemed to have scared them by saying the word ‘tomorrow.’ I gave them an hour and a half to write their essays and left the room. As I waited for them to finish their essays, I deeply contemplated on how my HUFS examination was two years ago, about how frightening it was to sit in a cold desk and a chair and write an essay for more than one hour in a classroom full with other students from different places that were competing with me for only 10 available spots. Having in mind the fact that I literally cried and couldn’t do anything before the day of exam because I was too scared, I couldn’t stop being proud of my students for being so patient.
After the given time ended, students came to me to get feedback on his/her essay one by one. Normally, I would scold them if they didn’t finish the essay, and give harsh comments if they made the same mistake I’ve been telling them over and over again. But this time it was different. They were already nervous, and I was sure that what they needed at this point was not a suggestion or a harsh comment, but a word of hope and encouragement like “if you do just like this at the examination tomorrow, you will be just fine” or “a writer like you will definitely get accepted to HUFS.” Therefore I reminded them of what they usually forget to do, some advice that they should do on the day of exam, and a word of thanks for doing their best. Until then, it didn’t feel much like farewell, as writing essays and getting feedbacks were just as usual. However, the time came when giving feedbacks finished and I had to go home. As I was packing my bag to leave, a bunch of students came to me shyly.
ReplyDelete“Thank you for teaching us until now.” One of the students said, and I was very surprised as he was usually very silly and unfocused during class.
“You guys did really well. I’m sure all of you will get good results in the future.” I said to them, and I could feel my voice trembling slightly.
“I’ll try my best using what you have taught us. You were the best teacher.”
I have thought of myself as not much of a teacher, as I was only a few years older than them. However, hearing them contribute what they have learned to me was a big surprise. We exchanged few hugs and promises that we will see each other again after they finish their exams, and they went home. It was the end of my first ever teacher life with a lot of warm-hearted students.
From this experience, I learned what responsibility is. Until now, I have done several part-time jobs, whether it was in an academy doing simple tasks, or a café. However, those jobs did not require a lot of responsibility, as my job did not affect much in terms of sales or amount of students. Therefore, I did put a lot of effort in doing the work, but it was never 100%. However, this time it was different. Not only was I in charge of making the topics and the supporting ideas, but I was also the one giving them critiques that they will do better in the real exam. If I did poorly, they would have learned from that and write a horrible essay with nothing much to look at. Therefore it was crucial that I do well at everything, and therefore, I learned what being responsible to one’s future is. It made me do my best without looking for a way out or being sluggish. Adapting the important lesson I learned from this experience, I believe I will be able to be more thoughtful at everything I do, and work with a different mindset. I will always cherish the experience with my students, for both giving me a precious memory to remember and an important lesson.